Oh dear readers, today you are in for a treat! I’ve decided to post one of my stories from the Archives for you here on this fabulous Friday morning. Be dazzled at my writerly* skill! Enjoy!
*In case you’re wondering why you feel like the internet is “punking” you today, it’s April Fool’s Day. And rather than trying to modify my whole website, the story I posted is from the eighth grade. No, this is not me trying write badly, this is me actually writing badly because I was 13. (Yes, I kept the spelling mistakes and formatting errors, and yes it killed me to see René’s name spelled with and without the accent interchangeably.)
I’ve decided to share it with you because I am nothing if not self-deprecating. That and everyone can enjoy feeling a little foolish now and again. Happy April Fool’s!
EDIT: Now that April Fool’s is over I’ve put the disclaimer up top. Feel free to read the story anyway, and relive the foolishness that was my middle school writing career.
A Superstitious Suspicion
‘Great! Just great!’ I muttered to myself. Here I was driving through the Appalatian Mountains around midnight in an awful thunder storm.
“I’ve gone mad; that’s what it is,” I said out loud. I would’ve continued, but the sound of my own voice was startling against the familar pounding of rain on the windshield. A bolt of lighting lit up the night sky. I twas soon followed by the deafening echo of thunder.
I began thinking of how I got in the dreadful situation in the first place. I’ve always wanted to be a journalist but whenever I mention the fact that I’m very superstitious I was always turned down for a job. I was finally hired as a reporter for a tabloid paper. The “Chief” says a superstitious reporter is good for the staff because I’ll tend to over emphisize. Yesterday I got a call saying there was a big alein story up in Pennsylvania. So, thats why I’m driving up. They are in dire need of me by morning; or so I was told.
Another bolt of lightning brightined the sky and I caught a glimpse of a castle on top of a nearby mountain.
I could tell by the way the road was turning up the mountain that I was going to pass directly in front of the house. This was not something I wanted to do.
Just as my car was passing the house, or mansion rather, I heard a horrible wheeze come from the engine, and with a dramatic final sputter, the car died. Right there in front of the eerie mansion.
“Why do I feel like I’ve seen this before?” I asked myself. “It’s pouring rain in the Middle of No Where, Trannsylvania (make that Pennsylvania) there’s a spooky looking castle-type mansion and my car breaks down in front of it. Plus, I’m superstitious. I could just scream.”
I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. I got out of my dry car and out into the terrible storm. I went up to the mansion and knocked on the huge knocker. The noise resounded through the mountainside. It almost drowned out the thunder. Determined not to be out-done, the storm raged on harder.
A young woman in her mid-twenties opened the door. When she saw me her mouth brodened into a many-toothed smile. She was dressed all in black.
“A visitor! We haven’t had one in ages! Do come in, sir. You’re soaked clean through to the bone.” She motioned me in and closed the humungous door behind me. “Was that your car out there, sir? I can’t think of any other reason you might be here.”
“Um…yeah, it is. It broke down. I guess I’m pretty lucky it broke down anywhere near a house,” I answered. The mansion was a typical Hollywood style castle. Suddenly, the lights went out!
“Oh, dear! There go the lights again! They’ve been doing that all through this blasted storm. Wait a minute I’ve almost got a candle lit.” A match flared up in the darkness. “There!” she smiled again and I could see that her K-9 teeth were just a little too long. And red at the tips.
“Do you have any jumper cables? I should probably get going…” I trailed off hoping she’d get the point.
“Sorry, I don’t. I’m afraid you’re stuck here for now. Besides you should probably stay here until the storm blows over, anyway Mr. … I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”
“Tom Anderson.” I said.
“René Porter.” We shook hands. Her hand was deathly cold.
Rene looked toward the nearest window. “I don’t think the storm will let up until morning. I hope you don’t mind staying over night,” she said. I did mind. More than she’ll ever know.
“No, of course I don’t mind,” I said causually. I had to stay calm.
“I’m sure I can find a spare room. This place has so many! And secret passages, too,” René added.
‘I bet they come in handy when you sneak up on guests and suck their blood,’ I thought. I was certain I wouldn’t live through the night. How could I escape…
“Would you like a cup of tea before I show you to your room? You look a bit tense,” Rene observed. Tense?! I was scared out of my mind!
“Tea would be wonderful, thank you,” I said. Stay calm! I needed to be calm! René led me through the dark hallways to the kitchen. I sat nervously at the table while she made the tea. When it was ready, she poured out two cups.
“Here. I hope you like it,” René said. Just then the lights went back on. “Oh that’s much better! I better not blow out the candle, though… just in case.” She sipped some of her tea. I tried some of mine.
“Mmm! This is delicious! What kind is it?” I asked, drinking more.
“I’m so glad you like it! It’s called Garlic Herb,” she smiled.
“Garlic?!” I asked. Vampires are supposed to hate garlic. I was very surprised.
“Yes, garlic. Oh, dear you’re not allergic are you?” René asked.
“No, I’m just suprised.” Just then I saw something around her neck. “Is that a rosary?”
“Uh-huh.” I started to laugh. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Forgive me; but all this time I thought you were a vampire!” I chuckled. She laughed too.
“A vampire?! Oh my, no!” she was laughing very hard.
“Why you’re nothing but a nice young woman!” I said.
“Oh, no; you misunderstand me! A vampire,” René giggled. “No, I’m not a vampire. I’m a witch.”